10 Things You Should Never Apologise For…Ever!

Ever wondered why people say sorry for certain things when there really is no need to apologise? Or have you ever had someone dismiss you and belittle your feelings saying that they’re not valid or relevant? Well here’s a list of the 10 Things You Should Never Apologise For.

I’m not sorry and you shouldn’t be either for…

1. How you feel

Expressing the way you feel (and I mean really feel about something) is a gift. When you tell someone about the way you feel on a certain subject you should never think twice about apologising for expressing your personal perspective. That is, unless it’s harmful to the other person or intended to manipulate the situation. Letting people know where you’re at and how you feel is so important. If you don’t express your true feelings then they get swept under the carpet and you get sick. Seriously, they will fester and implode within your soul like a stink bomb.

AFFIRMATION: It is safe for me to express my truth and the way that I feel.

2. What makes you laugh

Your sense of humour is your own set-point of uniqueness. The beauty of the human condition is that there are so many beautiful types of humor and no ‘one size fits all’ solution. Whether you laugh at poo jokes, videos of kittens or even Japanese signs with amusing English translation failures – always be unapologetic for what makes you giggle. Life is funny. 

AFFIRMATION: The things that amuse me feed my soul.

3. What you believe in

This should be a deal breaker in relationships. Yes, we know that the fine art of conversation means avoiding the themes of politics or religion – however, if you have to say sorry for what you believe in, no matter what it is, you’re moving in the wrong circles. You have 100% permission to believe in whatever you wish as long as you don’t intentionally hurt people in order to prove a point.

AFFIRMATION: My beliefs are my own and the compass for my soul.

4. Your past

Yes, you might have done a turd and mailed it to a high school bully. Yes, it might have been nearly 20 years ago – however no one can make you say sorry for the silly stuff you did in the past. Unless, it was illegal or the overwhelming need for some sort of exchange of forgiveness to take place.

On the other hand you might have been dating two guys at once when you were younger and your present husband brings it up in fights. The basic rule is this…when something happens before you’re in someone’s life, then technically it has nothing to do with them.

AFFIRMATION: The past is over, the memories are pretty funny though.

5. Your future and your dreams

Never apologise for your dreams or what you want for your future. However, make room for compromise if you are in a long term situation with others so that you’re not appearing to be totally self-involved. Make your dreams happen, never apologise for dreaming.

AFFIRMATION: I allow myself to create an amazing future.

6. Your body or your weight

If you’re apologising for the way your body looks then stop it. You need to own your body –  the shape, the texture, the fact that it keeps you alive and HONOUR IT. Saying sorry to someone because you’re too big, too small, too green…whatever…is harmful to your heart. If someone can’t love you enough to know that perfection is mythical, then they need their soul Photoshopped.

AFFIRMATION: I am enough.

7. Your children

Unless they are throwing their own poo around in a restaurant or yelling out vulgarities to others, then never apologise for your children. Kids are supposed to behave like kids. And if you do encounter the grouch that speaks up and makes you feel like you need to apologise for your children then gently remind them that they once were kids too.

AFFIRMATION: Kids are vibrant, messy, loud, beautiful souls that need space to be creative.

8. How much you earn

Money is a sore spot and a tender subject for a lot of people. Never feel the need to apologise for earning too much or not earning enough. Money is an exchange for energy, that’s all. So when you’re saying sorry for having too little or even too much, then you are making a very powerful affirmation to the Universe to cease the flow of abundance.

AFFIRMATION: It is safe for me to allow more abundance into my life and feel comfortable to share my wealth when it flows with ease.

9. Your personal/emotional boundaries

You draw the line when it comes to saying something isn’t okay. We should all learn to assert our boundaries and not be apologetic for our decisions that enforce our own emotional safety.

AFFIRMATION: It’s okay, when I say it’s okay.

10. Your sexuality

This one should be the most obvious, kind of like apologising for your skin colour. No matter what your sexual orientation is, you must never need to apologise to someone because of it unless it’s used in the context of ‘Sorry, I’m flattered but I’m a lesbian.’

AFFIRMATION: My sexuality never needs to be explained.

3 Reasons Why Flying First Class Is Worth Every Penny

Spending a bit more can turn your flight into a profit center

The first-class cabin at the front of the plane may be just a few yards from your economy seat, but it might as well be in a different world. While you’re trying not to bash your knees on the tray table, to eat plastic food, and to get to sleep with a couple of tightly-packed strangers, on many international flight those at the front are lying on a bed in a private cabin, having just enjoyed a dinner prepared by a chef. Served on real china. Of course, they’ll have paid a fortune for those luxuries. A first class ticket from Singapore to New York on Singapore Airlines can set you back around $15,000. Along with the bed, you also get a dining table behind your private sliding doors, a 23-inch entertainment system, and a proper wine list.

But a touch of luxury isn’t all you get when you cash in your air miles, dig deep into your travel budget, or demand the client upgrade your ticket. When you stay in economy, you miss out on three other benefits that are way more valuable than a better class of reheated meal.

1. Time and Energy

First-class passengers arrive at the same time as everyone else. You’ll get off the plane first, but that will only save you a few minutes. The hours it can save you are in the recovery from the flight. David Liu, founder of TheKnot.com, described in The New York Times how, in the early days of his business, a venture capitalist he met was shocked to learn he had saved money by booking a red-eye with three layovers. Instead of being impressed by his thrift, she told him the company couldn’t afford a stressed-out CEO, and booked him on a first-class flight home.

If you’re flying economy class long-distance, your next day or two are going to be a washout. You have to factor in the cost of lost productivity and maybe even a lost deal, if you roll off the red-eye and into a presentation. Bear all those expenses in mind and that economy class seat doesn’t look so cheap anymore.

First-Class-Cabin

2. Networking

The first-class areas are the ultimate networking rooms. It starts in the lounge, where you get a proper place to relax, alongside people who are at the top of their professions. It continues on the plane, where you might find yourself sitting alongside the founder of a multimillion-dollar company or the chief executive of a Fortune 500 business. That’s valuable. Last year, Chinese gaming company Da Lian Zeus Entertainment paid $2.35 million to have lunch with Warren Buffett. You’ll pay a lot less to spend several hours sitting next to someone guaranteed to be a success in his or her field.

Those networking benefits are worth grabbing even on domestic flights. The comfort levels might not be much higher, but for a little more money, you’ll get to chat and exchange contact details with people at the top of their professions. If you want to meet and chat with people who have deep pockets and plenty of knowledge, you have to sit at the front of the plane.

first-class

3. Work

If you’ve ever tried to work in an economy-class seat, you’ll know it’s almost impossible. There’s barely enough room for your lap, let alone your laptop. A first-class seat is a real office, complete with power outlets, privacy, and Wi-Fi. While you’re squinting at a movie on a small screen in the back of the plane, the people at the front have a chance to pull even further ahead.

So should you be splashing out on a first-class plane ticket next time you travel? If you’re traveling for business and can afford it, it’s worth it.

More for your entrepreneurship 7 Key Habits, Practices, and Experiences

first class

By Joel Comm. Author and speaker 

BUY HAPPINESS

THE SCIENCE BEHIND THE AGE-OLD QUESTION OF MONEY AND HAPPINESS

By Kellie Colunga

“It’s the hap, happiest season of all,” the crooners sing. But is it? As much as we try to make loved ones our focus at the end of the year, the subject of money always seems to be lingering in the background. Whether you’re keeping a running mental tab on what you’ve spent on the holiday festivities, you’re waiting to hear if you got that raise or bonus, or you’re determining your end of the year giving, chances are you’ve got your mind on your money and your money on your mind (as Snoop Dog would say).

Is your money really serving you? Does it make you happier? Are you using it to lead a more fulfilled life? If you answered no to any of these questions, take heart, there is hope. Because the science says money does bring you happiness – if you use it right.

HIT YOUR TARGET

Happiness is correlated to income, but only up to $75,000, according to a highly publicized 2010 Princeton study. So what does this mean? According to the research, people reported having a greater “emotional well-being” based upon income up to $75,000, after which the level of happiness evened out.

Essentially, this study quantified what we instinctively had guessed – that money alleviates the stress of providing our most basic needs. In other words, $75,000 of annual income buys peace of mind. Meanwhile, low income intensifies the emotional strain of the trials of life like medical emergencies and divorce, causing compounded pain from financial insecurity.

In fact, one study concluded that income could actually reduce the incidence of serious mental illness. “We know from the results that changes in family income are important drivers of people’s emotional lives,” said David Clingingsmith, author of the paper and associate professor of economics at Case Western University.

What does this mean for you? Well, if you’ve already hit that $75,000 threshold and you’re not happy, it means you just need to learn how to spend effectively. Keep reading! If you haven’t hit that target yet, first things first: you need to get to know your numbers. Implement a spending plan and take massive action to get your financial security in place. Just having an emergency fund that covers your basic needs for three to six months will alleviate the little voice of panic inside you (or your partner) that constantly questions what will happen if a crisis occurs. (Book maybe you like MONEY Master the game)

However, the science says that no matter where you are at in your financial journey, spending your money in these ways will bring you more satisfaction in life.

3 WAYS TO SPEND MONEY THAT WILL ACTUALLY MAKE YOU HAPPIER

SPEND IT ON OTHERS – AND WITNESS THE IMPACT

As it turns out, science has upheld the maxim, “it’s better to give.” A Harvard study conducted across over 100 countries found that whether rich or poor, people who give to charity are happier. Perceived happiness increases even more when we can see the impact our gift has on someone.

Remember that moment when you gave someone a gift that you just…could…not…wait for them to open? As they opened your present, you searched their face for the delight that you knew that you put there by giving them a gift you knew they would love. Giving a gift that changes someone’s life or just makes them feel known and loved meets our deep need for love and connection, improving the quality of our own lives whilst improving another’s.

SPEND IT ON EXPERIENCES

Make memories, not purchases. Spending money on experiences makes us happier than spending money on material things for a few reasons.

For one, spending our money on experiences creates a connection with the people we shared that experience with – and those memories form a bigger part of our sense of identity than the things we buy. In fact, we remember experiences as better than they actually were. Alternatively, we adapt to the material purchases quickly.

ALREADY CONVINCED, BUT NEED IDEAS? HERE IS A LIST OF 7 “EXPERIENCE GIFTS” WE PUT TOGETHER FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

paper from Cornell University psychology professor Thomas Gilovich showed that we also get more pleasure out of anticipating experiences than anticipating the acquisition of material things. There is a reason that those brilliant credit card commercials tell a story of purchases made to create a ‘priceless’ memory. It is the experiences that stir up your emotions; it is the experiences that they are selling.

Consider this: The two days your spend waiting for your Amazon Prime package to arrive doesn’t build the same kind of anticipation as planning and dreaming about that vacation to Belize does. You take the time off work, brush up on your Spanish, read travel blogs and more, all the while thinking about how epic this trip is going to be. And once it’s over, you’ll tell the story of zip-lining through the rainforest to anyone who will listen for the rest of your life.

Best of all, we don’t compare experiences quite the same way we compare our material possessions to other people’s. Teddy Roosevelt may have said it best when he postulated, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” But thankfully, keeping up with the Jones’ doesn’t translate to experiences the same way it does to things. Sure, the Instagram pics of your college roommate’s family trip to Hawaii may give you travel envy, but it doesn’t diminish the joy you experienced camping in Yosemite with your spouse.

Although it may be easier to prioritize buying material goods, thinking they’ll offer better value for money in the long run, psychologists tell us that the opposite is true.

BUY BACK YOUR TIME

Studies also show that we are happier if we buy back our time. Wait, isn’t time the one thing money can’t buy us? As it turns out, no. Time is one of the most important things money can buy, precisely because it is such a valuable resource.

As the author of Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending, Professor Elizabeth Dunn, suggests: “Don’t buy a slightly fancier car so that you have heated seats during your two-hour commute. Buy a place close to work, so that you can use that final hour of daylight to kick a ball around in the park with your kids.” A University of Zurich study agreed, citing that you would need a 40% raise to offset the added misery of a one-hour commute.

But it’s not just time sitting in traffic you can buy back. What would you be willing to give up to gain back the time you spend cleaning your house? Pack your lunch a couple of days a week and you may find that house cleaner is suddenly within budget, freeing up those precious hours.

This is especially difficult for those of us from hard-working families who were brought up to do things ourselves. Sure, we can change our own oil, but is it the best use of our time? Will it bring you joy? If so, have at it. If not, reconsider what your time is worth and spend accordingly.

TELL THE RIGHT STORY

Finally, your happiness is ultimately determined by the story you tell yourself. What is the story you consistently tell regarding your finances? Is it empowering you or limiting you? Is your story making you happy? As Tony Robbins says, “Change your story, change your life.”

On your journey to financial freedom, be sure to cultivate gratitude. One of the main reasons that collecting more things doesn’t make us happy in the long run is because we adapt quickly to it. Sonja Lyubomirsky, psychology professor at UC Riverside, says,” If you have a rise in income it gives you a boost, but then your aspirations rise too…You’ve stepped on the hedonic treadmill. Trying to prevent that or slow it down is really a challenge.”

Consciously fostering gratitude is key to maintaining joy. 

Wherever you are in your financial journey, may you find joy this holiday season

Book may be you like MONEY Master the game

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Original Post in Tony Robbins/Money